"Hostage", me? Certainly not. If there is an hostage here, suffering from a condition, it is certainly not me. However your choice of locution is particularly interesting and I kindly suggest you to re-evaluate the reasons you are here. I wouldn't like to live in a place where I don't enjoy most every minute of my time and where I respect the values of the people surrounding me.
I won't quote it entirely, but later in your post you say something about "being able to bribe an RT". How come can you possibly be so wrong after years living here is beyond me. Families, to be granted an authorization to held a ceremony like a funeral or a wedding don't need to "bribe an RT". Heck, most of the time they may even not give uang rokok.
You and I may perhaps afford to rent an aula or to hold any ceremony in our own house without impacting traffic, but for the most the people who hold these ceremonies can't afford to do it. They can't bear the cost of it nor they can arrange the logistic for it. Their house is practically the only place they can do it and the RT know it. Bear in mind that they need to cook and often if not always need to accommodate the family and community members who will help (who don't talk about a couple of pembantu here, but often about dozens of people). Save for their house, and not having the means that you and I may have, there is little choice left for them. Your statement about "
proper venues which cater to effectively
all different budget levels" is just ridiculous
.
You obviously never have been invited to a wedding in a poor/not so mampu family. For many Indonesian, certainly the majority, a a proper venue catering to their budget is a free venue because the total cost of a wedding or funeral exceeds already by far years of the meager salary they get. On their behalf, allow me to apologize for being poor/not being able to add to their wedding/funeral budget what you call a "proper venue".
RT/RW recognize the social importance of such ceremony and the fact that some can't afford, for a question of logistic or cost, anything else than their house, and will grant their authorization knowing that the huge majority of their citizens, despite having to waste 5 minutes or 45 minutes, will accept it. This is the reason why I never heard of an izin not being granted. It's also why, despite being impacted, most Indonesian will let it go and realize that the time wasted is worth it/not so important since less fortunate people than them may afford to pay respect to their departed loved one or marry their daughter/son.
But again, I couldn't care less of the way you deal with it. Please, continue to honk your horn and get your wife mad for a reason you don't get. It's not me who will bear the consequences at the end of the day.
The house of the defunct, where the defunct is exposed, seem by far the most appropriate place.
